Added: Jerone Romain - Date: 26.12.2021 23:39 - Views: 43100 - Clicks: 3824
With buff bodies, exotic races and windswept, interesting lifestyles who could possibly be a better catch than a multi-sporter? But look behind the lycra for a moment, and not everything is as ticketyboo as it may appear. Here then, for your future happiness, are the top ten reasons why you should never date a triathlete…. With virtually every scrap of annual leave hoovered up by going off to Lanzarote, or Majorca, or Tenerife, or France for bike weeks, training camps, triathlons, marathons, adventure races and God knows what else you can kiss goodbye to your two weeks of sun-kissed relaxation in the Caribbean.
Split personality. You could always go on one of their trips with them, if you fancy spending all day on your own while they are out cycling. Triathletes only eat two sorts of meals — enormous, or nothing. Expect any romantic restaurant meal for two to become a stressful search of the menu for a gluten-free, cheese-free pizza and a fresh fruit salad.
Also expect your dreamboat to tell constant lies about the amount of chocolate they consume, and be prepared to witness the full horror of a hungry triathlete who returns from a training ride and, having ly eaten less than a Trappist sparrow, proceeds to consume the entire contents of a kitchen cupboard in one go. Also prepare yourself for the latest nutritional fad concerning beetroot, or peanut-butter, or broccoli, or smoothies which will dominate their diet for the next two weeks. A true test of triathlon obsession is to secretly start a stopwatch going when you begin a non-triathlon conversation and see how many minutes seconds your sweetheart takes to change the topic to something tri-related.
Say goodbye to ever being on time for anything ever again, and say hello to waiting around for your sweetheart to return an hour later than promised from an all-morning bike ride. With chiselled and honed physiques triathletes should look great when dressed up to the nines.
However when you see your dearest at a swimming pool standing on the blocks looking like an embarrassed shop dummy with a bum disorder then you may begin to question whether the clothes-peg physique of the average triathlete is all that attractive. Remember all that space you used to have in the garage, conservatory and spare room before it got filled up with bikes, wheels, wetsuits, bike-boxes etc?
And the pile only ever gets bigger because nothing is ever thrown away even when it is usurped by a costly upgrade.
You have friends. They are probably normal people who like meals out, films, going to the pub and so on. And on those occasions when nature takes its course, even then things may not go entirely as you would wish, and I know of at least one true tale of a triathlete who wore a heart rate monitor during moments of tenderness to measure calories burned and what their heart rate got up to in case it needed to be logged in their training diary.
So there we are. Still want to find yourself a triathlete? Why not try finding one on match. Martyn has a monthly column in the magazine Triathlon and you can subscribe here.
Home Training 10 reasons why you should never, ever, date a triathlete…. Debbie Graham Digital editor. Would you like to keep up to speed with the latest triathlon news and training advice straight to your inbox? me up!Dating an ironman triathlete
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10 Things I’ve Learnt from Dating a Triathlete