Find my mom a date

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She meets the matchmakers looking for love for their parents. Was it everything you hoped it would be? He was a lovely guy. There was no sexual chemistry. Maybe you should give him another chance?

Find my mom a date

Whenever she goes on a date, she texts to let me know. Afterwards, she calls for a post-mortem. Though the stigma of internet dating has diminished, especially among those who have grown up with an entire virtual universe at their fingertips, there still remains the slight concern that you might end up murdered. She suspected he was looking for an affair. Welcome to dating in your 50s. My parents split up when I was 12, a bad age at which to witness the rupturing of your family, and it affected me badly.

My feelings started to soften when I was 18 and left home. Mum was by herself, miles away in rural Wales, and I worried that she was lonely. I wanted someone to love and support her.

Find my mom a date

I cast myself as her dating guru. For some parents, the idea of their child meddling in their love life is at best mildly annoying and, more likely, patronising — intrusive, even. Our relationships with our parents are less formal: they resemble close friendships, especially in single-parent families. As offspring, we feel we know our parents better than anyone. When I started telling other people about my quest to find my mum a match, I found many others doing the same.

After my brother finally went into full-time care at the age of 15, and my mother moved to London, it took several years for her to dust herself off and climb out of the rubble. So the bulk of the ones left are the druggies and the doleys. Her daughter, Sally Roberts, is 28 and lives in Guildford. Sally has set herself the task of finding her mum a man who likes the outdoors and is happy to swim in the sea all year round. They go to Download festival together every year. Datinga website she assumed would attract metal fans. They were all on different dating sites that had been pooled together.

One guy was from 6footlover. How shallow is that? Despite this inauspicious start, they have plans to meet up when he gets back from his holiday, and Sally is hopeful, telling me approvingly that he looks like Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. Jo is more reserved.

Find my mom a date

Perhaps my generation, with Twitter, Tinder and a disposable hookup culture, assume that this is easier for our parents than it really is. Dr Terri Apter, a psychologist and academic focusing on family relationships, tells me this is common for children whose parents have divorced, and particularly girls, who often devote themselves to bucking up their mothers in times of crisis. Finding someone for a parent means you can go back to your own life without underlying anxiety. Being there for them from time to time, without giving up your own life, is the best support you can offer. Children may have grand ideas about what is best for their parents, but these can be wide of the mark.

In fact, she adds, raising the idea of dating with a parent might worry them. Laura Stageman, a year-old TV producer from London, tells me she worries that her mum is lonely. Laura has been trying to set up her mum Gilly, 53, a receptionist from Fareham in Hampshire, since her parents divorced when she was four. I really want her to find a kind, lovely man who will look after her.

I come from a different generation. All the families I speak to have been through battles of some kind — death, disability, divorce, cancer — on top of bringing up children.

Find my mom a date

By throwing myself into finding someone for mum, I wonder if I, too, am like that child in Sleepless In Seattle — trying to re-establish a nuclear family, to regain the stability that was lost when my parents divorced. I hate the idea of my wonderful, witty, kind mother ending up alone or, even more terrifyingly, lonely. I often fret about her growing older, possibly with no one by her side. My boyfriend, whose parents are still together, thinks I should chill out and leave her to it.

Clint Bouchez, a year-old development manager from Reigate, has been divorced since She also wrote his My Single Friend dating profile, which has led to numerous dates, though nothing long-term yet. My heart quickens with the thrill of a possible match, but Clint is after a career- or businesswoman, and my mum is not that.

Find my mom a date

The hunt continues. But a lot has changed since Clint was young. Internet dating has changed everything. What do you do? Perhaps this is why the only person I speak to who has successfully found love for her single parent avoided the internet entirely. Phoebe Patey-Ferguson is a year-old festival producer and PhD student who, seven years ago, conspired to find someone for her mum Alison, 49, a nurse.

Find my mom a date

They had a running joke that they should set their parents up, since Alison had a thing for ginger men. The two parents talked for hours.

Find my mom a date

The matchmaking pair engineered further meetings, and eventually Alison and Phil started going on dates. They married within a year Phoebe was maid of honour and Martin was best man and will celebrate their sixth wedding anniversary in May. At the time of being pregnant and having Phoebe, love [between mother and daughter] was and has been unconditional.

She has been put off by men with too much interest in pornography, or who seem to be playing away. Am I putting too much pressure on her? Success for a woman is still determined by whether or not she is married. Are you trying to get me off your hands? All the parents I spoke to are philosophical about a future that may or may not involve a partner — much more so than their children. Who knows what will happen?

Why I want to find a date for Mum this year. Charlotte Bouchez with her father, Clint. Photograph: Thomas Butler for the Guardian. Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett. Sat 14 Feb For me? Reuse this content.

Find my mom a date

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Why I want to find a date for Mum this year