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Joanne Deck. While research continues to affirm the ificance of the first impression, what really matters is not only the impression we make, but also the first impression being made on us. In other words, it goes both ways, and mindful dating means being aware of both sides of the process.
Although psychologist Amy Cuddy is from the Harvard School of Business, her research on first impressions has strong relevance for those choosing to date mindfully. Based on her studies, she reports that most people upon meeting someone for the first time form two opinions about the individual.
When we take pride in our appearance, it suggests we value ourselves and have confidence. Next examine your behaviors.
Greet the person with a sincere smile, and look them in the eye. Depending on the situation, a handshake may be appropriate, but gentlemen refrain from the bone-crushing clench. A helpful approach is not to take to yourself too seriously. Refrain from false flattery, and be observant of cues. Another practice many overlook is the need to align thoughts with actions and intentions. If we want to be seen as warm and approachable, we cannot be holding judgmental or critical thoughts.
Note that this is true whether the thoughts are about the other person or yourself. They may not be able to identify the cause of their discomfort, but insightful people will pick up on the negative energy and form a poor opinion.
Stay in the moment and be aware of your reactions to them. Then spend the rest of your time together challenging it. That depends. How important is it to you? For some, visual effect is a priority. Some make an effort to stand out or stay in fashion. Set an intention to be observant of behaviors without being judgmental.
Make allowances for nervousness, and strive to put both of you at ease. How does your date address the wait staff? What do they do when faced with an unexpected disturbance or annoyance? Pay attention to casual remarks made, but avoid criticism, which may cause him or her to modify behavior. Staying open will be more fair and gives you a better chance to see their true character. When in doubt, give the person another chance. About the Author:.
Joanne M. Deck is an author, success coach, and speaker, with expertise in dating, education, and New Thought concepts. She is the author of Sane Sex for Singlesa three-time winning dating guide for the new millennium. As a certified coach, Joanne has supported hundreds of people in changing their lives to look, feel, and be their very best. Joanne is currently working on her next book, Learning to Receive with Grace and Ease, aimed at helping people become more comfortable and skillful receivers. Her observation is that most people have the giving side of the equation down, but struggle with receiving.
Joanne Deck explains. Ask Yourself These 3 Questions.First impressions on a date
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8 ways to make an amazing first-date impression