Added: Christy Darnall - Date: 18.04.2022 22:25 - Views: 13460 - Clicks: 1281
So it seemed right to also ask the guys what kind of women they are looking for in their own Christian singlehood. Every value and character trait we look for in a man should be found equally in ourselves. It is neither wise nor realistic to expect a godly man to pursue us when we as women are not living up to those same expectations. There are multiple posts on my blog describing what kind of woman to be and what kind of man to look for in your single years.
I also feature posts on contentment and realizing marriage is not our ultimate goal. It is a sense of purpose that goes beyond outward appearance or personal achievement, and it only comes from a heart that rests in God. This confidence — self-assurance, without the need to rely on other people for affirmation — is attractive to godly men. Not second guessing their relationships with Jesus and with peoplewishing they were someone different, wondering what others think.
Again — I do this too but as Christians we should feel and be secure in who we are. On this last point, the guys brought up a very important topic. I wrote about submission in my marriage series. One of the misnomers concerning biblical submission is that the husband has complete, totalitarian control and the wife silently submits to his leadership. This is not what Paul was describing. A woman who never counsels, advises, or questions her husband is not being a helper to him; she is hindering him. Honesty was one of the top qualities in the responses from interviewees.
But honesty goes beyond break ups. See below. Be straight up and articulate that to him if he approaches you about it. To you, and even to some guys, the agreement is good because it shows you work well together. If you truly agree, great. If not, sharpen him or express your disagreement and ask him to sharpen you. Either way it shows you are not ready for an actual relationship.
They want you to be honest, and some of that honesty comes with the inner confidence we talked about ly. Your social culture largely determines you view of marriage.
Secular culture advertises the exact opposite: Disdain and resulting delay for marriage and near-obsession with career. The guys talk about this below. Life should be lived as an adventure. But in my opinion work is somewhere around priority 5 or 6 for me. Too many ladies sacrifice serving the Lord, friends, family, and experiences in the name of a career. Again — this is just me but work is not what defines me. Its what feeds me :. Dear friend, your singleness is not a holding pattern! Jump start your prayer life and live your single season abundantly with my 30 Day Fruitful Singleness Prayer Guide!
Just as we expect our men to be self controlled in their desires, their eyes, and their spiritual lives, we must also seek self control in our own areas of weakness. For many women, self control becomes a struggle in social media, in the physical standards of dating relationships, and in their communication with potential-to-current boyfriends.
These areas are also struggles for men, but whether for men or for women, a lack of self control is almost always sourced in idolatry and insecurity. These attitudes are worked out in our behavior, which the guys discuss below. Do godly men consider appearance when they are looking for a spouse? To a degree, they do — in the same way we do. For me, appearance mattersbut there are only some aspects of appearance that both guys and girls have control over. These are the things that matter most to me.
Are there attributes that I am attracted to more than others? But most are not something a lady has control over. What matters to me is how a person deals with the attributes they do have control over. I leave a very active life, and would want my wife to be able to me in that. I have put some effort into eating well and maintaining what the Lord has given me.
A lady who does the same is attractive to me. Perhaps my favorite point the interviewees made is this: that a woman who loves Christ above all else is the most attractive woman in their eyes. A woman desperate for a relationship, needy for marriage and dependent on a man for validation is looking to a man to be her savior — a role no man could ever fill! Unfortunately, some in the church have twisted the healthy partnership that is marriage into a dependency that extends prior to marriage into the courtship or dating stage.
But the Bible never describes women as weak and dependent needing a man in order to be effective for Jesus. Their confidence in God made them strong and influential wives even in a culture that marginalized women. Having a religion without the relationship with Jesus. As we grow in maturity into him who is the Head, Christ, we in turn bless each other all the more as Christians, and, to me, women who admire Christ supremely are therefore much more attractive.
As I stated the beginning of this post, every man is individual in his personal attractions and preferences.
Many of the principles outlined here are echoed in the Psalm passage we discussed earlier this week. My goal in these posts is to give young women clarity in what it means to be a godly woman, and from that fundamental understanding, what to look for in a godly man. In conclusion, I interviewed my favorite godly man for his thoughts on this topic.
Josh contributed his input below:. I found Phylicia attractive because she desired to be more like Christ, and she called me to a higher standard because I wanted to be worthy of a woman like her. It is simply a further call to place God first, knowing that His work in your heart will not only help you live well in your singleness, but give you wisdom for both who to be and who to look for. my list for a more personal look at my journey and to get personalized posts to your inbox!
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