Added: Mehdi Marinelli - Date: 18.12.2021 07:40 - Views: 19111 - Clicks: 5909
From our experience, selfishness in marriage is the first behavior that needs to go when you get married because selfishness will hinder you from becoming ONE with your spouse. This way, you can become the selfless spouse your relationship needs to thrive and succeed. The fact of the matter is, that when you are a single unmarried person you only have one person to think about, yourself.
Humans are naturally selfish individuals. What you want to eat, places to visit, the music you listen to in the car, how to spend your money, when you did laundry, cleaned your dishes, etc. Your needs and wants have come first, and that is a natural response for survival! Who else will take care of these needs for you after you become an independent single adult? Specifically, you are married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, your equal partner. The person who will prepare chicken soup for you when you lay on a sick-bed hopefully.
The person you will share your deepest joys and sorrows with. We had to learn to compromise our music styles in the car, our food choices.
We had to agree on how to budget the money earnedwhat we spent it on, how much to save etc. Before marriage, I was always thinking about how I would survive until we got married. And then I had to change that mentality to how we will survive. It was not an easy shift, it took me a while to adjust to married life and this new way of thinking. I never knew how selfish I was until we got married. If you would ask anyone who knew me before then I think they would tell you I was a very giving person and not selfish at all.
For example, I spent money on my wants as well as needs, quite frivolously. I would change plans at the drop of a hat, and show up to an event or friends house, or they would drop by.
Then, after we got married, money was tight. I had to learn how to budget and stick to what we agreed. I had to start thinking about how the things I did affected both of us. Giving praise. Do you have any of these selfish behaviors or beliefs? Further down this article, we will show you things you can do to eventually stop being a selfish spouse. Plus an example of a common selfish behavior many couples face that relates to money. There are many damaging effects of selfishness in marriage, the ones we share below is what quickly comes to mind for us:.
During our first year of marriage, dealing with selfishness was one of the first struggles we experienced together. More importantly, it was one of the essential marriage lessons we had to learn even before learning how to communicate effectively with each other.
Let us clarify, we are not saying your husband or wife has to deny your actual needs. If you both practice the above statement and take turns when it comes to certain things, then it should be a match made in heaven! Dealing with a selfish spouse can be extremely difficult.
But have you thought about the of times you have been a selfish spouse? Below are 6 things you can do to overcome selfishness in your marriage. This simple practice will help you to build a strong foundation and set a great pattern for the marriage you both desire. Understand that you are now one. It takes time and effort to change from being selfish to selfless so be patient. How can you help your spouse today? Take the quiz. As you already know, money plays a huge role in our lives and can be the reason why you have selfish behaviors. So spend some time to review the root cause of all your money problems this week, if not today.
Do you want to spend more money on your wants instead of the needs of your home? Are you hiding the inheritance, the extra bonus you received at work, or the extra spending from your recent shopping trip from your spouse? Simply answering the questions above is a great way to start working on overcoming selfishness in your marriage and opening up communication. Because your answers will tell you whether you are being selfish or not.
Is it all about you? Next, share your answers and thoughts about the questions with your spouse.
Have a conversation, and create an action plan to ensure your selfish behavior with money or whatever topic can stop. By successfully practicing how to not be selfish with money, you will be able to start changing your selfish behaviors.
Improve yourself, and if you are in a happy and healthy relationship your spouse will follow suit. You also have to stand up for your actual needs like time alone. Otherwise, you are creating a very unhealthy relationship where you deny yourself completely and will lose yourself. Then start working on yourself by applying everything you have learned in this article, so you can improve yourself and become a better spouse.
How to Connect or Reconnect with Your Spouse.
As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. We are all selfish before marriage The fact of the matter is, that when you are a single unmarried person you only have one person to think about, yourself. We were both selfish when we started out… During our first year of marriage, dealing with selfishness was one of the first struggles we experienced together.
So how do you become selfless, instead of selfish in your marriage? How to overcome selfishness in marriage Dealing with a selfish spouse can be extremely difficult.
Be responsible, and admit that you are selfish. This is hard to accept, but once you know it, its easier to overcome selfishness. Communicate with your spouse about your selfish behavior. Find a balance where you can compromise and take turns on who gets to pick what.
Change your mindset. Be patient. Stop being competitive with each other. You are a team. So work on how you can bring out the best in each other. Serve your spouse. More importantly, make a difference in their life today! For example: Do you want to spend more money on your wants instead of the needs of your home?
Self-care is not selfish. Because the fact is this: Your marriage will not be healthy if you are a selfish spouse. Your turn Can you give examples of how you overcame selfishness in marriage? Get our 7 Proven and Simple Communication Steps.
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s you are the selfish partner in your relationship